So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
