it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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