And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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