Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
