found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
