Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
