I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
