apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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