just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
