Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
