put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
