his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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