I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
