You can't special order awesome
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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