come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
