Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
