Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize