i need an iv and a liver transplant
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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