My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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