69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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