I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
