I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
