Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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