Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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