Grow some girl-balls and come out already
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize