his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
