walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
