No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
