my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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