You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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