You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
