based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
