Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
