My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just got carded by a ten year old.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
