Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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