i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
