Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
