There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
