I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
