I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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