we have pet lesbian snakes
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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