have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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