I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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