I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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