bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
