I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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