Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
