i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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