I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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