38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
