I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
