Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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