Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
