pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
