Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
