He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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