i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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