just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
