Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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