he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
