I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
