You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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