His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
