ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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