i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
