I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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