I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
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